1. Thou shalt only send surreal text messages 2. Thou shalt always give evasive answers 3. Thou shalt never achieve more than 90% at anything 4. Thou shalt always put off until tomorrow everything 5. Thou shalt never demonstrate how to do things, always do thyself at great speed 6. Thou shalt discuss sport especially with people who don’t understand the attraction 7. Thou shalt strike the desk in anger or joy 8. Thou shalt look after the pennies at the expense of the pounds 9. Thou shalt not lead, thou act like a cog in the machine 10. Thy face should always be adorned with the holy goatee