These lyrics are transcribed in light blue as they appear in the "Hatful Of Hollow" album and are reproduced here without permission. The lyrics are noted differently in Sire releases of the debut album and some compilations, but those are not from an official source and contain mistakes. Variations between the printed lyrics and what is sung by Morrissey are indicated in darker text for additions and omissions are deleted.

Punctured bicycle
on a hillside desolate
will Nature make a man of me yet? 1

when in this charming car
this charming man

why pamper life's complexities 2
when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?

I would go out tonight
but I haven't got a stitch to wear
this man said "it's gruesome
that someone so handsome should care" 3

a jumped-up pantry boy
who never knew his place
he said "return the ring" 4
he knows so much about these things
he knows so much about these things

I would go out tonight
but I haven't got a stitch to wear
This man said "it's gruesome
that someone so handsome should care"

this charming man
this charming man

A jumped-up pantry boy
who never knew his place
He said "return the ring"
he knows so much about these things
he knows so much about these things
he knows so much about these things